Some weed store names have pot-ential, others are up in smoke

The mental images go anywhere from a yoga instructor in a hands-clasped worship pose to a Jeff Spicoli van exit as a plume of smoke follows him into Ridgemont High.
Scrolling through the names of the currently-under-review cannabis shops in Alberta on the AGLC website is a great way to see corporate freedom at its finest. It's also a good way to see who named their business after sampling some store merch.

HEY BUD is one potential store name, crafted magically by the folks at 1884356 Alberta Ltd. - who used up all their name-thinking skills on the store and not their parent company.
Perhaps they should have talked to fellow applicant Doctor Green Cannabis Corporation who infused a medical-feel as well as a corporate tone in their simple, four-word name. Their Edmonton store is to be the Bud King, a bit of a let-down, that quite honestly seems more suited to a beer store or a hashtag for an Anheuser Busch project.
Oh well, they can't all be the brightest lights in the joint.
Gramsterdam and BudaBoom - one in Calgary, one in Edmonton. You just know the folks behind these stores have been sitting on these names for years. There's a spark of creativity in these that puts them high above some other offerings like Bongs and Such Plus or Up N Smoke Ltd. C'mon. Really? That's a half -grassed idea. What are you guys smoking? One sounds like a store for over-sized smokers and the other was a Cheech and Chong movie. Too obvious.
A little mystery is also a welcome change to the pun-ny names of pot-ential pufferies.
Le Joint is a good store name that elicits a European, sway-my-cigarette-around-in-the-air-while-my-hair-flows-in-the-wind-under-my-slightly-askew-beret, kind of feel. It's proposed for Stony Plain. If you draw out the 'o' sound in Stony and offer your tongue and extended roll on the 'Pl' in Plain, it could sound French.
Le Joint would have been a perfect fit for Lac La Biche. But so far, the little town in northeastern Alberta known for its liquor store density has yet to have an application go through the AGLC for weed.
Neighbouring St. Paul has an application in. Show offs. They have a Tim Hortons too.
Clarity Cannabis. By the fine folks from Clarity Cannabis MD Holdings Inc. They have several applications for pot shops across Alberta, including Medicine Hat, Edmonton, St. Paul, Lethbridge, and Cold Lake.

And speaking of the city to the east with the air force base ... and two Tim Hortons - guess who is flying high with at least two applications to the AGLC?
Another big bud chain called Namaste Natural Health Ltd has one of their 24 applications set to go into Cold Lake. The same company has plans for three stores in Grande Prairie, three in Edmonton, one in Fort McMurray, another in St. Albert, a Lloydminster shop, another in Fort Saskatchewan, three in Lethbridge ... and several others that will all get rolled into the Namaste H-empire.
The bummer about the Namaste monopoly is the clear lack of creativity at the store-naming level. Every store in the Namaste stable is called ... ready for this ... Namaste. If they were all whacked out zombies in a TV show, they'd all be Negan. If they were flying high as rockets in space, they'd all be the Borg.
Boring. Looks like the Namaste folks puff-puff-passed on creative and went right for corporate monopoly.
But they aren't the worst offenders. One current applicant takes the bake cake for worst use of their creative juices. Remember the store names earlier on - BudaBoom and Gramsterdam? Their creators live for this stuff. They were fired up when the legalization laws were coming on line. They've been waiting to shout out their store names since they were in junior high school. They worked hard and their efforts have paid off by a top mention in this article. Take a bow. But the worst of the bunch so far is from a place that should have ... could have ... really had to have ... done better.
Guess where they want to open up "Smiley's Cannabis & Budz"? In High River.
Oh wow! It's already served up for you.
High River.
High.
River.
High.
And you go with Smiley's? What are you smoking? While some credit has to be given for the 'z' ending in Budz which gives it that fun buzzing-bee feel ... How did you miss the biggest opportunity High River has had for a business since the High River Quiver Giver archery store took full advantage of rhyming fun when it opened in 1982.
Dude. It's like living in a place called Weedtokington-upon the-Roach and calling your new pot shop "Al's Place."
Creative. Thought-inducing. Thinking outside the box ... far out, man. With about 150 current applications going through the AGLC right now, the creative license to get a pot license has been a bit of a downer.

C'mon folks. Spark up some interest for the place you want people to spark up the economy by sparking up your inventory.
See what we did there? Try some of that.
It might even help to relax the opposition to the new stores. Many people checking out the AGLC list on a daily basis are worried a shop will open up in their neighbourhood. A fun, witty name might ease their fears. For example, in Hinton, The Rocky Mountain Collective gives me the shivers, and I don't really care one way or the other about the issue. But the PoshPot Cannabis Boutique in Calgary gets me right in the curious zone.
For those looking at the AGLC list who just want to know how far they'll have to walk in pajamas and slippers for a weekend treat, the names won't mean much. But for those in the middle, somewhere between the highs and lows of the issue, the names are a fun read that might produce a weed-induced grin without ever having to touch the stuff.
To see the current list of applications and their deadline dates for final objections, click here.